Homosexuals, despite their caring , creativity and sensitive natures have always been subjected to ridicule and abusive language by the ignorant hetero-sexual part of our society and our crew had no intention to abandon this tradition on this often pretentious matter when they saw of couple of guys mincing along hand in hand.”No wonder they get called all the names under the sun, it’s a downright unnatural “said the Captain and so the Captain started with brown hatters, turd burglars, Marmite Miners, sausage jockeys, anal intruders, pillow biters, and doughnut punchers .Not to be beaten Phil, being more conventionally straight expanded the list to included queers, poofers, irons, woofers, arse bandits, knob jockeys, shirt lifters, shit stabbers, fudge packers and faggots
And of course Billy being the gentlest among the crew pitched in with fruits, fairies, peter-puffers, nancy boys, uphill gardeners and Irish creamers.
Billy said “It’s not fair, there’s more bent women than bent guys and so there’s less fanny to go around and you never hear them being called by names.”You don’t think so eh Billy” “Well what about lesbos, dykes, clit lickers, and rug munchers for a start” said The First Mate and then the Captain added just for good measure “Bean flickers, lezzies and todger dodgers.
“You know “said the Captain, ”Our conversation about these gays could be construed at being very politically incorrect”."Whenever I watch any of these chat shows on the telly, the interviewer always asks comedians some silly question like "Does being politically correct affect the type of material that you use?" said the Cabin Boy, he continued "Well what is this political correctness all about then?"
The Captain explained”Political correctness, PC for short, is something that started out as a sort of moral common sense - actually not a bad idea, eg. saying 'black person' instead of 'god-damn cotton-pickin' nigger'. However, the whole thing got utterly out of hand in the early 90s to the point where a lot of people will say 'Afro-Carribean' or 'Afro-American' because they think it's racist to say 'black'! It gets even more ridiculous when you consider that in some parts people think it's offensive to 'blackboard' or 'black coffee'. What began as a force for good (considering the number of people who really are racist, sexist and homophobic) has since become a laughing stock because of the ridiculous extremes to which certain neurotic ultra-liberals took it - cf. a person being 'vertically challenged' rather than short. This has actually undone a lot of progress made in changing bigoted attitudes (as bigot can claim any offence taken at their views is 'political correctness gone mad), whilst making people feel guilty for enjoying anything but the blandest, most anemic humour for fear of being 'offensive'. I mean, seriously, what's funnier out of 'Friends' and 'South Park'? (Or 'The League of Gentlemen' for the benefit of any Brits out there?) At the same time straight white able-bodied men' like us Billy are going out of their way to talk about 'ethnic people' (who ISN'T ethnic!?) and those of 'different sexual orientation', there are blacks calling themselves niggas (which has been going on for years), gays calling themselves (and each other!) poof, queens and queers, and so on - the real way to neutralize a term used as an insult is for those to whom it was applied to use it themselves. AT its worst, political correctness is nothing different form Orwell's Newspeak - an attempt to change the way people think by forcibly changing the way they speak. So let's have a backlash against the nannying, interfering, cotton-wool Stalinism 'political correctness' has become - not to placate bigots, but to speak the truth and enjoy outrageous humour like we're meant to. Remember, the next time someone says they don't like Harry Potter because Hermione is a stereotypically sensitive girl, the relevant word to call them is 'c****. Yes a great many stereotypes exist because they're essentially TRUE.
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