Monday 25 October 2010

42. Saving our bacon

Even the simplest of sailors should know the difference between port and starboard. If you find yourself on a boat with a captain such as ours   , who does not know which side is starboard and which side is port?  The answer is quite simple - Port is left and starboard is right. But if you were travelling on a ship for the first time, how could you remember that? Well, it is really quite simple. There are four letters in the words PORT and LEFT so you can easily remember that the left side of a ship is the port side.
Another way of distinguishing between port and starboard is by using the colours red and green. The port navigation light of a ship is always red and the starboard one is always green. The First Mate always being fond of a wee dram explained “An easy way to remember that is to know that port wine is red and so by a process of elimination the starboard light will be green.” “Not bad for you First Mate, said the Captain “But you also get port that is white and tawny as well”. Not too be outdone, the First Mate added sarcastically” That most sailors aren’t as posh and sophisticated as you Captain, and wouldn’t even know about the other two colours of port”. The Cabin Boy had the final word “It’s really, really easy just remember the phrase “There is always some port left in the bottle”

Shillingford  Bridge was in a state of repair with a  large red NO ENTRY sign on the port side 

bridge arch and a large green GO sign on the starboard bridge arch. While heading full steam 

ahead for the wrong arch, Cabin Boy Billy came up trumps and saved our bacon by pointing out 

our imminent collision course. The Captain indicated that he” was just testing the cabin boys 

powers of observation “and in any case “How did you also know that I was “colour blind”, you 

must be physic!

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