27. Rip off

In its literature Beale Park describes itself as a place to be with fun, adventure, animals, gardens, play and activities on the banks of the picturesque River Thames.

The person who wrote this blurb must have just arrived from Fantasy Island. There are few animals and that’s about all and the admission prices are ridicules. Adults pay about 8 quid and but the generosity of the owner is shown by prices of 7quid for senior citizens and 6 pounds for children. To obtain these concessionary prices, senior citizens have to be accompanied by their grandparents and children have to be wearing the full school uniform of a school approved by the owners of the park.

Children under two are of course provided that they can produce unexpired birth certificates and parents a photo –ID linking them to the child to confirm paternity or maternity. Children with less than or more than two legs are admitted at their owners risk and such children are to kept under constant supervision and in particular when in close proximity of chicken and sheep.