The longest reach on the Thames, which is the longest distance between two locks, is the reach between Cleeve and Benson locks. The distance is about six and half miles and the shortest reach is that between Goring and Cleeve locks a mere two thirds of a miles. These reaches are also some of the most boring.
The shortest reach consists of a couple of weirs and a couple of up market homes for the elderly. We had had confrontations with the owner of Cleeve Mill on several occasions because he thinks he owns the weir pool and doesn’t like people fishing from their boats.
He has unsuccessfully called the police on Jimmy and friends on several occasions and once asked Jimmy, “How would you like if someone came and fished in his back-garden? “, to which he replied “You can if you want matey but you’d only catch the odd blade of grass, perhaps a stick of rhubarb or if you’re lucky a used condom that someone has thrown over the back fence”.
The longest stretch, includes a couple of ponsie pubs which have now been turned into eat-only restaurants which toy can’t even stop into to get an honest pint or two.
These are the Leathern Bottle at and the Beetle and Wedge.
The Leathern Bottle at Goring on Thames has won the converted Nast Johanness Award for the Most Excellent Restaurant of 2006 and true it is situated in an idyllic, tranquil setting overlooking the river and the Berkshire Downs, and that is why is doesn’t want any ragged-ass boaters spoiling its ambience. Even if you do try to anchor in the river, they will try to shoo you off, although the owners think they that they own the river, they dam well don’t! And as sure as eggs are eggs it happened to our crew. We decided to go over to the Leathern bottle and have a closer look and as soon as we arrived a guy in a black monkey suit started waving and the Captain instructed us to all wave back. Out of the corner of his eye the Cabin Boy spotted someone dining that he knew and shouted to the waiving guy “Tell Sir Johnnie , we’ll have three pints of beer and three packets of crisps and tell him his football team are rubbish” .”Who is it then Billy” asked The First Mate.”You see the old guy with the wig on, sat over there with that big boobed, blonde bimbo , is John Madeski, the owner of Reading Football team.”Not bad for a Polish immigrant I suppose” continued the First Mate.”That’s rubbish said the Captain” He was born in somewhere like Stoke “. “Well that’s as almost as bad “replied the First Mate
The Beetle and Wedge Boathouse, is a restaurant set on the site of the original Moulsford ferry service, on the banks of the Thames on Ferry Lane in Moulsford and is mentioned indirectly in “the book”. The restaurant is mentioned in “The Times 2010 Guide to the ’50 Best Places to eat Alfresco”.
In 2005 the restaurant played host to the cast during the filming of Three Men in a Boat – a film broadcast and commissioned by the BBC as a modern-day reinterpretation of the travelogue originally penned by Jerome.
Not as pretentious as its competitor the Leathern Bottle, you can book a table and mooring and then order a starter with a beer and change your mind about a main course, so that you can experience the surroundings without having to take out a mortgage to pay for your supper.
The Captain asked the First Mate” Was this place mentioned in the book?”” Sort of “ replied the First Mate, who only just finished reading the actual book himself.”Apparently they were in this pub and one of them climbed up to inspect this fine specimen of a stuffed trout ,lost his grip and grabbed hold of the cased fish and as he did so, it came crashing down and broke into a 1001 pieces. When they examined the damage, they found out that it was not a stuffed fish but a painted plaster of Paris model!” “Yes “said the Captain “But why sort of?”Well “said The First Mate”, the Beetle and Wedge wasn’t actually named in the book, but hazard a guess from the description it was”
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