Some people in this live are born lucky and we were lucky to have met one. For Howard a guy we met in Windsor, was almost unique in two ways. One he had a most unusual job and secondly he was blessed in the nasal organ department.
Howard’s job was if interest to us. He was a bollard utility applications engineer, which when translated into simple English, he is the guy who lowers bollards so that areas either become pedestrian walkways at certain times of the day and then raises them to allow vehicular access which is usually first thing in the morning and late early evening.
We engaged Howard in conversation initially on how to where to find the local train station and as he turned around and pointed to the direction of the station, it was suddenly seen it all its glory a wonderfully large nose. Yes Howard certainly had a huge hooter, a superb snozzle, or a prize winning snot box. Of course, Billy just couldn’t help himself and had to point out that there are distinct advantages in having a large nasal organ such as “Being able to smell pussy at 20 yards, being able to smell a joint at 50 yards and being able to spell the fuzz at 100 yards. The Captain being more practical said “With such a large nose, your glasses never fell off, it could always act as a hat and coat stand at funerals and above all it serves as an aid on how to avoid areas frequented by foreigners such as mosques, slaughter houses ,brothels ,illegal gambling dens and dope rings”.
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