189. The Royal Stag

The Stag was another of the pubs visited by the original crew of Three Men in a Boat. The Royal Stag stands in the centre of the village on the village green and dates from the1400's.Over the centuries it has been previously known    as The Five Bells and The High Flyer and was finally named the Royal Stag in 1796.

 Although a lot of the trip in his  book  is fiction, Jerome clearly knew the scenes and places he described in his humorous novel. In this brief extract the narrator, George and Harris need a place to spend the night in Datchet:

We went a goodish way without coming across any more hotels, and then we met a man, and asked him to direct us to a few. He said, 'You must turn right round and go back, and then you will come to the Stag.' We said, 'Oh, we had been there and didn't like it - no honeysuckle over it'. Then George spoke up. he said Harris and I could get an hotel built for us if we liked, and have some people made to put in. For his part he was going back to the Stag. ...... We took our traps (bags) into the Stag and laid them down in the hall. The landlord came up and said 'Good evening, gentlemen.' 'Oh, good evening', said George, 'we want three beds please.' 'Very sorry, sir,' said the landlord, 'but I'm afraid we can't manage it.' Oh, well, never mind, said George, two will do.' Harris thought George and I could sleep in one bed very easily.' Very sorry, sir,' again repeated the landlord, 'but we really haven't got a bed vacant in the whole house. In fact, we are putting two, and even three gentlemen in one bed as it is'. Harris rose to the occasion an, laughing cheerily, said, 'Oh well, we must rough it, you must give us a shake-down in the billiard room. 'Very sorry, sir. Three gentlemen sleeping on the billiard table already and two in the coffee-room. can't possibly take you in tonight.' 

The crew went into the Stag after getting soaked by another downpour. However one thing that blighted our visit, without exception, was the fact every pint we ordered was a short measure and we had to ask each time for time for the glasses to be topped up. Sometimes the pints were a half an inch light. We wondered what would happen if we offered the bar staff less than the price of a pint of beer and would they accept the fact, we had not had a full price and therefore we could be expected to pay the full price. We somehow think not. “Of course, the bar staff were Eastern Europeans and” were therefore used to being robbed “snorted the First Mate. The young barman, but not a patch on our own dear Cabin Boy”, kindly offered, after instructions from the Captain, to take our pictures .The Captain previewed the pictures and  exclaimed that the barman had only managed to ruin two of the three photographs that he taken and even the good one had part of thumb print on it.. Clearly he hadn’t understood the Captain’s simple instructions regarding the use of the camera. The First Mate gigged and said” He could always be Simple Simon’s eastern European cousin I suppose”.

Phil engaged one of the locals in conversation about the history of the pub, only to find, that he speaking to a latent cross-dresser, Iain Campbell, a true Scot.