Sunday 11 March 2012

184. Adverse Weather wear



The English weather is like some of the inmates of mental institutions, in that it is schizophrenic, one day it is good and the next day it is bad. A more accurate description is that we often experience a wide range of weather conditions within the same day. During the days boating from Staines up to Windsor, we encountered early morning fog, mist, light rain, heavy rain, thunder, lighting and bright sunshine. All these conditions were encountered over a six hour period.
When boating, it pays to carry a waterproof and on the day in question the Captain produced his wife’s very expensive waterproof jacket made by Schoffel, a known upmarket brand  that yuppies are known to prefer. The jacket having been bought from an even more upmarket county attire retailer in Hungerford-Roxtons.
So when it came to rain, the Captain adorned himself in his designer jacket only to find out that it wasn’t waterproof. Both the Cabin Boy and the First Mate pointed out “That just because a product has a designer label on it doesn’t necessarily mean that it is a guilty article”.
The Captain then said “I didn’t say it was water proof” said the Captain” I said that it was wind proof” The First Mate added” Yes you see Captain wind is often accompanied by rain and vice versa “ ,then the Captain  retorted yes Phil, bullshit and brains are often accompany each other as well, just ask then Cabin Boy. The Cabin boy laughed and said “Well then other crew members, it seems that you have them both between you and vice versa.
“Remind me what the Cabin Boy said” said the First Mate,” When we next hear him trying chat up some unsuspecting filly , accidently remind him that he is still only a Cabin Boy who has one CSE in woodwork”.

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