Monday 22 November 2010

102. Wog grub, wedding rice and the PORG bird


Wog grub, defined by the Captain is any food dish that   comes from north of the Pennines or south of Dover and doesn’t containing anything that hasn’t been home grown or anything that ends in a vowel or has more than three vowels its title is classified as foreign muck. The fact that he has eaten food in 122 countries that he has visited has nothing at all to do with the argument.
The crew were lucky to find an acceptable curry house in Wallingford where the food was of an acceptable standard. The patron of the place was both pleasant and could actually speak English which makes a change for such foreign restaurants. The only downer is you can’t get proper real ale and are ripped off by having to order up   expensive Indian brands of lager such as Cobra and Kingfisher. How can words such as lager, cobra and kingfisher possibly be used together in the same sentence is a definite abuse of the English language and should be reported to the Society for Proper English.
In quite a large number of countries it is now illegal to throw rice at a newly married couple, apparently because people can slip on this sticky substance resulting in a law suit and it has also been blamed for the death of a large number of birds. The Captain, who is very fond of wedding cake, having had several wives accidently, knocked a whole container off the table when speaking of the trials and tribulations of marriage which upon reflection turned into tales of wedded bliss.


In the same restaurant we also treated to a hitherto unforeseen treat, an oversized Porg of the female variety and above all a runt with a gammy leg, now that’s a rarity.

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