Friday 12 November 2010

97. Mad Gareth


There is a certain boater on the Reading stretch named Gareth Evans, no not the former Australian politician ,no not the British Philosopher or even the professional footballer who plays for Bradford City, if it can be called that these days but our very own local one, known as Madog. Yes he is mad and has an even madder four-legged friend called Taffy.
When drunk, Gareth is not shy to reveal his interesting past, which makes James Bond and Sty Stallone look like a pair of fairies. Gareth freely tells people he has seen active service in the SAS, The Special Boat Service and the 2nd Parachute regiment. He also was a high ranking officer in the Irish republican revolutionary military organisation, the IRA. In reality, Gareth’s only army service had been when his duties were cleaning out the toilets during his stay at the local Salvation Army hostel after he had been on  a two week bender on scrumpy cider-meths cocktails.
During one drinking session  he was seen to be moving in his boat, around  and around Fry’s Island in ever decreasing circles and was told off by another boater (who name shall rename anonymous  (Dave the Gypo) to stop it. Gareth taking the hump,  produced and threatened Dave with an unloaded air gun. A public minded citizen phoned the police and within minutes the Thames Valley police helicopter was hovering overhead together with a dozen members of the armed police support unit. The net result was that Gareth was captured alive, trussed up like a chicken, given a good talking too and because of his “poor state of mental health” was let off with a caution. The cost of this operation was of the order of £20,000 and we are sure general tax payers would happy to find out how some of their tax is wisely spent.

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