Oxford is the oldest of all universities in the English speaking world and the third oldest next to those of University of Bologna in Italy and Paris University in France, and was founded in 1096 after King Henry II banned English students from studying in France, which was not such a bad thing. Bringing up gentleman in an environment of people who eat frogs and snails, don’t wash regularly and crap and piss in the in street, is not the sort of environment in which bright, eyed and bushy tailed English academics should be seen in never mind being taught in a foreign language.
On passing Christchurch College, the Captain walked through the archway to speak to the Head Porter Mr.Norman Allen. Norman told the Captain “I have been a porter for here for 30 years and prior I was in the Royal Marines .My dad was also head porter here and that’s how I got a job here .I can remember when this college was renowned for its high standard of cuisine and the prowess of it’s rowers and learning was of a low priority. Yes, indeed when I first came here it was like a gentleman’s club with definitely no council house kids and admittance was decided purely by rank and wealth. Nowadays, see what they’ve done to it. Women students, Johnnie machines in the toilets, a self-service cafeteria .”Christ “ said the Captian “You sound just like my favourite character Skullion in some of the Tom Sharpe books” “ Oh you mean Porterhouse Blue and the Grantchester Grind” Norman said” He continued “ I could sound like Zipster, Sir Godber ,the Dean or The Senior Tutor if you like” .Norman then let out a loud laugh and said” As soon as I met you I realised that you were a big Tom Sharpe fan, just as I am, and so I decided to have a bit of fun”.”What just like those gas filled condoms with attached French ticklers floating over the skyline just behind the tower in the corner of the courtyard? The porter turned around quickly only to hear the Captain say” Gothca Norman, that evens the score”.
The Captain then told the crew that he once knew a girl called Skullion."Well that was not her real name" he said."Her real name was Dawn and like my wife, she defies the adage that the average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think, and in both their cases they have both.And getting back to my friend Dawn, she's the only woman I've known that has graduated both from Oxford and Cambridge Universities."."Well Captain" said Billy " Your wife Captain couldn't have had much brains 'cos she married you","Yes Billy , you may be right, but in her case she had at least some, and in your case ....none"
The Captain then told the crew that he once knew a girl called Skullion."Well that was not her real name" he said."Her real name was Dawn and like my wife, she defies the adage that the average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows the average man can see much better than he can think, and in both their cases they have both.And getting back to my friend Dawn, she's the only woman I've known that has graduated both from Oxford and Cambridge Universities."."Well Captain" said Billy " Your wife Captain couldn't have had much brains 'cos she married you","Yes Billy , you may be right, but in her case she had at least some, and in your case ....none"
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