These days a lot of cars and boats have global positioning systems, well on our travels we did not have to resort to such modern day technology, because we had our very own specialist navigator on board aka The Captain, who couldn’t find his way out of a wet paper bag even it was already open.
We set out to find the quickest route, crow -wise, to our destination, of course another pub. Well the route took us at thirty minutes instead of the statutory ten because instead of operator error of behalf of the Captain .The Captain completely exonerated himself, accidently on purpose , by taking us via a circuitous route, again on purpose , via Oxford Prison, which now is used as an alternate but interesting hotel offering rooms for the night, a bit like Hotel California .The only difference being the absence of candles and pink champagne on ice and the opportunity to leave once you had inspected the daily tariff you have to pay for consented interment .The route itself was like the maze at Hampton court, but without the league of Nations on your heals and a concrete jungle instead of hornbeams...now “not a lotta people know that” ,unless you’ve read the books of that Cockney chappie Maurice Micklewhite, namely Michael Caine. He never forgot his roots and the name he was born with, and when gonged in 2000 he became Sir Maurice instead of Sir Michael.
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