Another nicety of the Thames is the prospect of mooring up in idyllic surroundings. You just select a place, jump of the boat and secure it with the use of a couple of mooring pins and Bob’s your uncle. The only probably when doing this alone is jumping off the boat to find that you are without the pins and the hammer used to drive the mooring pins home. Such an episode occurred when we were heading up stream from Abingdon.
Both Billy and Phil, each wanting to back the big brown motor home out of the garage, demanded that the boat be stopped at a suitable dumping station and the Captain remembered that there was such a public convenience in a public park on the Thameside at Abingdon .All three alighted off the boat and Billy and Phil hot footed off to the toilet, leaving Jimmy to tie up the boat. In the absence of mooring pins and any suitable sky hooks, he used his knowledge of bondage and tied both ropes around his own waist and without any thought for his personal safety waited for his intrepid crew to return much relieved after their logging out session.
Just as they were leaving the dumping station, the Captain pointed to the public swimming pool and told the Boy and Mate about an incident that had happened there a couple of years ago. “My missus and I once went for a swim there and I was in the process of taking a couple of pictures of her and this big hand came over my shoulder and said” Excuse me Sir, you’re not allowed to take photographs in the swimming pool to which I asked “Why the hell not then?” “Child protection Sir” “ I just looked at the guy and said” You must be stupid and blind then , that woman I am taking some pics of is my wife, she’s a grandmother and it’s obvious that she’s not a child” “Sorry Sir ,it’s not me, it’s the council’s policy”.” I replied “Well if that’s the case then, don’t ever touch my shoulder again or I’ll have to report you for assaulting a senior citizen!!
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