28.The Poison brew

Real ale is beer that brewed from traditional ingredients, matured by secondary fermentation in the container, because it still contains live yeast from which it is dispensed. Such beers are served without the use of extraneous carbon dioxide by using a beer engine.

The craft of making real ales has often been passed down from generation to generation. The Swan, which used to be owned by Danny La Rue of the cross-dressing fraternity, is now known as the up market Swan Diplomat at Streatley.

We ordered up three pints of Old Father Thames brewed locally by the West Berkshire Brewery .This brewery was started in 1995 by David and Helen Maggs and is situated in a stable block  converted stable block in Frilsham ,near Newbury. This brew is described as a low gravity beer retaining a full-bodied flavor for its strength and made with locally-grown malted barley and hops. We had to return the first three pints due to its turbidity, you couldn’t even see through it and it had a taste reminiscent of something which cannot be described here in a family novel such as this.

A second round of drinks was then poured by an apologetic, cocktail waitress, named Natalie; she was of course, par for this posh establishment, looked nice, spoke nice but had a mind that was permanently in neutral and knew nothing about real ale except it was something that old gentlemen like us drank. These drinks were even worse than the first round and were promptly poured down the sink. We did manage however to reluctantly drink half of our third round of beers.

Our advice regarding the pursuit of real ale is keep to a proper pub known for the quality of its beer. If you do visit such an establishment as this, you may be better off having a Pina Colada or a Knicker Bocker glory.

One good thing about such high class establishments is the standard of the toilets particularly when one requires to have a number two. Cabin Boy Billy, being of ex-managerial status extolled the virtues of such facilities on several occasions during our visit to Goring and Streatley.