Don was a 73 year guy we met in the Barley Bow and how did he get his name is a tale in itself. Don had been suffering from a heart condition for several years after drinking many pints of beer accompanied by whisky chasers and had been advised to stop drinking these two brews. Don had asked the doctor what could he drink instead and the doctor told him apple juice.”Didn’t tell me it had to be un-fermented “he told us” and he now only consumes about ten pints a day of this a day.
When we met Don, he was quiet to start off with but after a few pints, he let his guard down and joined us.
Jimmy convinced him that we were making a documentary on a new version of Three Men in Boat and that he was very surprised that Don didn’t recognise him from his many TV appearances in his imagination. When questioned further of his oversight Don said” I expect that my granddaughter would recognise Jimmy from TV as she watches so much TV she has square eyes”.
Phil accidently on purpose told Don that Jimmy has once been some kind of teacher to which Don told us all that he hated school and could hardly read or write. When he told us that he used to be a train driver he was questioned on how he could read the signs found on the railway track” he replied “My missus taught me how to recognise what the signs meant”
Don then told us about going out on a bender over Christmas” I didn’t even bother to go home for his Christmas dinner ‘cos I was enjoying myself so much without my missus , I also turned down to other dinner invitations, and besides that I was so pissed, I forgot where I’d parked the van and couldn’t remember where I lived”
The early afternoon drinking session continued and Don delighted us with some of his stories.
He told us about his old next door neighbour he met in a pub that he hadn’t seen for a couple of years and Don noticed that he had put on a lot of weight. Don had asked him “How come you’ve put such a lot of weight on? “. Well” said his ex-neighbour “When I lived next door to you and your missus, I used to be ultra slim and fit because I used to walk six miles to the pub each night , well now we live just next door to the pub!”
Such are some folk, you can’t even give away drink, Cider Don refused to accept any of our offers of drinks but when we took photographs of him, in one of them he squared up the Big Fella and in another, after all he’d already supped a gallon of loon juice before the sun was even over the yardarm, he tried to kiss the Captain.... what a bounder, and the camera never lies does it Apple Blossum Don.
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