The trouble with drinking is that it makes you hungry and you soon forget about the expense incurred particularly when you cannot look a gift horse in the face.
Eileen , the land lady of O Donohoughes, recommended that we try an Italian restaurant that was close by and she gave us cards that purported to offer two meals for the price of one and all we needed was to show the card to the staff at the restaurant and to mention her name.
All seemed above board and a genuine bargain was to be had. We each had a main course and shared a bit garlic bread as a starter. Now seeing that the main course averaged about nine quid and it was two for one, how could one run up a tab for almost eighty quid. The answer was simple our drinks bill accounted for almost two thirds of the bill. Not surprising when one of the crew who shall be nameless almost quaffed two bottles of red wine by himself but Billy and Jimmy didn’t object to seeing that person enjoy himself at their expense.
The manageress, Kingha, was a pretty young Hungarian girl who was engaged to a fellow Hungarian called Armani who worked constant nights as a baggage handler at Heathrow. As the night went on and more drink flowed, we all became smitten her. She readily accepted our invitation to be included in photographs and even gave the Captain and the First Mate a goodnight kiss. And we ,all know why, she was after a big tip which she got. Upon reflection, she had already been given a tip by someone else “it is easy to get a tip off old chaps just pretend that you like them and if they were the last men on earth you may allow them to hold your hand, with the light on.
As we limped off home, the Cabin Boy lamented, “Just goes to show that a fool and his money are easily parted”. The First Mate chipped in with “There’s no fool like an old fool”, and the Captain continued the proverbial train of thoughts with “Fools rush in where angels fear to tread ,but that Hungarian bird was some sort of tasty Angel though ”.The First Mate mumbled “a thieving robbing one at that.”.The Cabin Boy giggled and said “Who took advantage of three old and lecherous, but very drunk pensioners who thought that they were God’s gift to women!” The Captain, the worse for wear spat out “I’ve had enough of women and kids, in the next life, I’m gonna join the Gay Catholic Network and come back as a celibate gay”.
“ I think you may have got it wrong there there Captain. Being celibate means that you don’t get married while chastity means that you not going to have sex, you see priests take a vow of chastity not celibacy”.”Yeah Billy thanks for that, I sometimes wonder where you get all this useless information from?”.” That’s easy Billy, from teachers like the Captain, who have got nothing else to do, but to fill our heads with such trivial information,” added the First Mate
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