Monday 17 October 2011

138. No toilets or snacks


The signs of a posh town are twofold. First, they have very few fast food outlets, unlike Abingdon, and secondly, they have very few if no public conveniences, which is very inconvenient, if  you are in dire need of a convenience, and hence the name . So if you are ever such posh places such as Marlow or Henley for example, you won’t be able to have a quick dump at the tax payers expense, and you won’t be able to have a fish and chip supper or the odd burger, because such posh places prefer visitors and locals alike, to be forced to dine at expensive eateries instead. This helps   local restaurateurs to stay in business, and thus attract an upper crust clientele, which in turn ensures that such town remains very posh, and thus keeps out the riff raff out of the town, including visitors such as the crew of the Lorna II, of course with one exception! ; and we all know by now who that is, don’t we ?

So if you are visiting one of these posh towns, you will be well advised to bring your own packed lunch and if you need to relief yourself, walk into one of those posh hotels, restaurants or pubs with an air of authority, with your nose in air, looking down on staff if they should dare to try to catch your eye, and pop straight into the toilet facilities. If you wish to avoid this rigmarole, attend to your business before setting foot in one of these superior towns and if not ensure that you pack one your grandchildren’s Pampers or better still your mother or father’s incontinence pants .And for those who want a drink cheap beer, take a visit to your local Iceland or Morrison’s where you can buy pint bottles of beers for around a  pound.

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