168. The Penton Hook Hooker

While making enquiries about the times of trains at Kingston, the Captain and Cabin Boy noticed a very, very attractive girl walking by and couldn’t help themselves but let their heads rotate following the young lady’s every step. The Captain said jokingly said to Billy “I’ve pulled” and started to follow the young girl and bumped into an older woman, who said “You have now”.

The woman was called Doris and came from Penton Hook. She  was dressed in a red leather jacket, little kinky pixie boots, shortish skirt and patterned stockings and she immediately engaged the Captain in conversation having spotted a kindred spirit, asking straight away was he married and was he looking for a woman. He turned to Billy and said “Look Billy, I’ve got to fight them off with a sharp stick “, Billy remarked, “Better you than me Captain, second thoughts she look’s if though she might be right up your street Captain”. Within minutes of meeting she had told the Captain her life story and that after two divorces; she was once again by herself and was looking for a new man in her life. She had just ended an affair with a man who was a lot younger than herself and remarked than her previous husband was a big boy just like the Captain. The Captain just laughed and said “O can you tell that as well as well”. When asked “Can I take a photo of you she  said loudly “No”,  and then opened up her jacket, pouted her lips and pushed her ample  bosom out and added “People normally pay for that you know.”The Captain giggled and said” Well that will be thirty five pounds please but you can always pay me in kind, if you want”, she then promptly jumped on the train without offering payment or services to the Captain but she did come over to the window several times  and blow  kisses to the Captain and also to the Cabin Boy, who merely said “I don’t do grannies like you Jimmy” and “Why the hell did you give her your phone number then?” I didn’t Billy; I gave her yours instead, just in case you decide you wanna a bit of experience for once”.”You may even get your hands of her pension book if you’re lucky”.

As the Captain gave  a return wave, the Cabin Boy bent down and picked up a card which someone had dropped. He picked it up and began to laugh “I tell you what is quite funny Captain “, “Go and then Billy put me out of my misery”.” Well that woman who just caught the train is called Doris and she like you is a teacher, but she teaches people with special needs “ And after further sniggering added “if you progress while under her tuition, she may even teach you O and A-Levels”. He then handed the card to Captain to  read.

“Very funny Billy, but is doesn’t have to be hers it could be anyone who just been up to  London and popped into a phone box, these vice cards are everywhere in London” said the Captain.”And how would you know about that then Captain?”.”The Captain replied “I think you told me about them when we were up in Oxford and you’d had too many beers and have conveniently forgotten about it and, as a good friend Billy, I will safely look after it to keep you out of your temptations way!”.The Captain pocketed the card and walked on.