114. Women folk and boats

The second half of this journey began once again at Caversham where the vessel is moored. It should be remembered that on the first leg of this journey that the Cabin Boy was late and was duly chastised in the usual manner. Yes, hit him several times about his personage with a sweaty sock. The Captain reminded him that it could have been worse, it  with a pair of the big First Mate’s jock strap.

Having learnt from his previous mistake the Cabin Boy used the ultimate alarm clock-her indoors, namely his wife.

Why woman folk turn up unannounced is a mystery to us men folk but is believed that it is not out of love but out of curiosity,

Within two minutes of arriving, the memsahib in question, had boarded the boat and was investigating the sleeping quarters. The Captain soon pointed out the under, aft hidden cabin was where The Boy slept unaccompanied. The First Mate then explained that “The Boy” could be locked in his cabin at night for everyone’s safety”.

When she saw his bed chamber, the said wife refused to leave the vessel and  had to be prised out of the cabin and was almost man-handled over the side to dry land.

“Christ” said the Captain “I thought she’s never leave but what I won’t to know is,what are we really going to do if one  us happens to pull a bird on the journey? .Billy replied “Well I could  always stand guard and hold the video-camera and if it happens to be the First mate who gets lucky, I could  always shout instructions to the cavorting couple.”Now Billy , if you shouted instructions, it would put me off my stroke” said the First  Mate “Let’s  get real “ said the First Mate.”We are all are married and the chances are zero of pulling any women on this trip are zero””. Speak for yourself” said Billy,” I could talk any woman into bed and I could dance any woman into bed” added the Captain “ .“ And I could  walk you both into the divorce court laughed” the First mate. He continued “Besides who gonna want anything to do with us pensioners then? ““Well all those old broads at the Derby and Joan Club, those busty women who serve Meals on Wheels and all those widow women in search of a bit of extra curricula for a start” said the Captain.”But they’re too old for the First Mate and I “said the Cabin Boy”.”Well “said the Captain “You can always put a paper bag on their heads  or gag ‘em with their pension books if you want  and don’t forget women are like wine, they mature with age” You can say that again Captain”  scoffed Billy “Dry, sour and no more   head!”