To supplement their meagre salaries and free housing in the most of idyllic surroundings, some lock keepers cultivate a range of plants, which they sell at vast plants. Sometimes, and I repeat sometimes these plants are left unsupervised and in such precarious positions that they have to be rescued for their own safety. Such measures often involve removing them from their own homes, at no expense to the owner, and relocating them to the comfort and permanency of your own home. Phil having a green fingered wife at home, liberated one such purely innocent plant and safety stowed it in the water closet so that it could not be seen by its ungrateful and more importantly uncaring owner who knew it when it was a mere seed and had only given in a bit of TLC for a matter of months.
The Captain asked Billy “You’re a bit of a gardener aren’t you Billy?” ”Well I suppose you could put it like that but I would more put it in different words. You see those flowers are some of the most evil creatures in the world, and they are known for their tendency to use humans as slaves in places known as gardens. These things take hours and hours of life away from their human slaves, and give us nothing in return. There is only one creature more evil then flowers, and that’s kittens or puppies!”
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