We decided that we needed to stretch our legs and so we stopped for a
brief walk around Walton –on Thames. As we approached the town centre the Cabin
Boy said” I would have thought that this place would have been older than it seems,
with all these new buildings around us, it seems to be quite new?.”.”Billy”
said the First Mate “Open your eyes and you will be able to answer your own
question”.”Billy came back with and said “Well all I can say is that it still
looks quite new”.”That’s right Billy my boy, you are right it is quite new, but
what they did was to knock down a lot of the old part of the town and rebuild
this modern day shopping centre.
The First Mate continued “In some
ways it’s a bit of a shame to see some of these old town centres redeveloped
and the reason is quite straight forward, when you think about it. These old
buildings are very expensive to maintain and it’s therefore easier to knock
them to the ground and start again”.” But, if these buildings are so old, how
do the developers get planning permission to build these centres?”.”Once again
Billy open your eyes. You see those couple of hundred of houses or flats over
there above the shops, the developers add affordable housing into the project
to give it some credibility.
These days it is often rare to meet a very pleasant couple on your
travels , well it was our good fortune to meet such a couple .The conversation went
like this “I say young man “ said the Cabin Boy,” Do you know the way to the
town” “To which the male of the couple, Andy said “ I may do “ and this took the Cabin Boy
unawares, and then the First Mate jumped in and said” looking at the female of
the species ,named Phil,” I bet you know a thing or two “ to which she replied
“it just depends what you’re talking about darling” .Phil to Phil said “ O I
bet you do”. The Captain then put in his two pence worth and said “Gentlemen
and lady, there is a big difference between knowing and thinking “and the Cabin
Boy determined to wind up the Captain, said “Aye aye Captain, they’re spelt differently
for a start.” Oh yes and they both have eight letters and two syllables right.”
“No wrong Billy one has seven letters and the other has eight, you must also be
dyslexic in the numeration department as well.” added the Captain ”Just like bastard and dickhead, different number of letters eh Captain “came Billy’s reply.
It turned out that Andy had just got a small part in a film to be shot
at Pinewood studios just up the road at Iver Heath and they were out
celebrating, when asked about what part he had got in a film, he was rather shy
at first but then admitted that he was to play the part of a gay waiter in the
sequel to the recent film “Kick Ass”,”More like Kiss Ass “said The First mate.
The Cabin Boy having spent many years courting girls on the back row of cinemas
throughout the Home Counties said “They also made Carry on Up the Kyber and
Peeping Tom at Pinewood”.
When asked where they were now going “Andy said” We’re just off for a
quick one down the road “and the Captain, not being able to help himself added
“Can we watch, it may help you to get over a bout of stage fright”.”Yes indeed”
added the First Mate,” We may be able to help you; you see my elder sister was
a thespian and she used to tell me about these things.” The Cabin boy whispered
in Andy’s ear, “She was a lesbian not a thespian and probably both”.
As
they walked off, the First Mate said” Very
nice midriff and no stretch marks”.”Only because she never been topped by someone
as big as you eh”, remarked the Cabin Boy”. The Captain turned to the First Mate
and said “I don’t know where the Cabin Boy gets it all from” “Well if you don’t
know by now Jimmy, you never will” “Oh from you Phil, you mean” laughed The
Captain.
No comments:
Post a Comment