Thursday 14 July 2011

128:The Compleat Angler- Lesbians Paradise


The  Compleat Angler is named after a book of the same title written by the English writer Izzak Walton ,the last updated edition was published in about 1676 which includes the famous passage  about the frog, often misquoted as being about the worm—“Use him as though you loved him, that is, harm him as little as you may possibly, that he may live the longer”
This once riverside  pub,  is now a more up market hotel, situated on then cascading waters of Marlow weir  has been awarded four AA red stars and is an Inspector's Choice Hotel, placing it in the top 200 hotels in the UK. In 2008 it received the coveted accolade of the South East's “Large Hotel of the Year” at the prestigious Tourism ExSEllence Awards. Close to the Olympic training venues of Bisham and Dorney Lake, the Compleat Angler Hotel can obtain for you, at exorbitant prices, ringside seats for you at Royal Ascot, the Henley Regatta and the pageantry of Royal Windsor.
The pub originally called the Riverside Inn had six letting rooms was built about 400 years  and  was originally owned by the Wethereds brewery.
One early morning   while fishing in the weir from a boat, the Captain and  First Mate ,watched a youngish blonde couple in their late twenties kissing and cuddling on the balcony of their room and not wishing to strain his neck, the voyeuristic Captain pulled anchor and positioned the boat in close proximity of the river bank to secure a better view of the fishing area and withdrew his high powered binoculars from their case. Accidently his field of vision included the cavorting couple. Low and behold, he thought the view could not get better but he was wrong for the embracing couple were both young ladies, yes genuine rug munchers!
As we slowed down to take in the view of Marlow, the Cabin Boy  asked the Captain and the First Mate “ had they ever been in the Compleat Angler “.”Not really my sort of place Billy Boy,” said the First Mate “More your sort of place, full of upper class twits, hurrah Henries  ,pseudo poofters and Hughie Grant  look-alikes “.”Cheers First Mate, I love you as well,” replied Billy.”I went there once with my wife a few years back and ordered a gin and tonic and a pint of bitter and handed the waiter a tenner” added the Captain.”He just stood hovering  over us , and I thought he was waiting for a tip so I gave him a pound . I was flabbergasted when he said that he wanted another one pound fifty because the drinks bill was twelve pounds fifty. Daylight robbery and we couldn’t even get into the waterside garden because of a wedding reception”.
The First Mate added “You sure that it was wedding reception for a couple of norms and not one of the those civil jobbies in which two men or two women get knotted to each other?”.”Come to think about it, I can’t remember seeing a groom but I remember ogling the bridesmaids, all dressed in pink, and thinking that they were all in their thirties and a bit old to be bridesmaids”.Billy continued the conversation and asked “What do you call a group of lesbians ?” ,to which the Captain and the First Mate replied in unison  “We don’t know” .Billy laughed out loud and said “It’s called  a lust of lesbians”  and the First Mate added “More like a Munch Fest”

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