104. Pub signs and pictures

Pub signs and pictures found inside pubs are of interest to many people who frequent them and the walls of the Dolphin in Wallingford were adorned with an assortment of them. The actual pub's sign outside features a   main dolphin which looks more like the Hunchback of Notre Dame and the one on the top left of the sign looks like one carved out of wood with a blunt penknife, by a five year old child.

Inside the Dolpin, there are three main types of pictures or signs. The hand crafted signs on the Gents and Ladies conveniences are humorous and novel. 

The “funny picture postcard pictures are quite illuminating and the Route 66 sign is tacky and unfitting. If you ever go into a pub check out the stuff that they have put on the walls it gives an insight into the type of person who had put up the signs. 

The Cabin Boy asked”What do you really think about the Internet then Captain”. “He replied that it is simply a global network which contains the largest on-line library available in the world, where people can search for information.”The First Mate interrupted” I’ll tell you what sort of people use the net a lot, it’s used by people who are into wanking, the god squad, people up themselves, decision dodgers and generally people who like to waste their time and what’s more, it is a well known fact that excessive use on the Internet can stunt your personality and send you blind.”.”The Cabin Boy laughed “For all your posh friends Captain, he meant to say people who are into masturbation, religious fanatics, narcissism,   procrastination and lay-abouts “”Well that must be practically everyone I know,” said the Captain.”The First Mate added “I forgot to mention    , two really big users of the net, the geeks and all those lonely people who do internet dating. Yes Billy don’t forget, love is just one click away.”The Captain said “don’t you mean nerds instead of geeks?”.”No I don’t Captain, a geek has both technical and social skills while a nerd has only technical skills.”.” What am I then First Mate? “asked Billy.”Billy dear boy” replied the First Mate.”You are neither a geek or a nerd”.”Thanks for that First Mate” said Billy.”No need to thank me Billy, as the Captain and I both know you neither have technical or social skills, you’re just a plain old dork.

However these days publicans don’t seem to stay long in the same place .This may be due to that fact that they have drank all the pubs profit and have  developed an alcohol dependency, or have pissed off with one of the regular’s wives or have become so  affected by listening to the constant drivel that drunks speak when they have been over-served , that one day when they can’t stand  it anymore of they just leave  ,or in the case of  pub landlords who  are just tenants, they   pack their bags and do a moonlight flit with the week’s takings.